Posted 4-29-19
“Hitting the Wall” can mean many things in life:
To the Cardinals over the weekend, it is a way for a young player to get hurt.
To a runner it can mean a metaphorical wall that you run into, often at about mile 20-22, where you feel like you can no longer run. It is in the mind. I ran a full marathon in 2010 and can vouch for the fact that it is a psychological as much as physical endeavor. Here are a couple of links from my old Christian blog about that journey.
Hitting a wall doesn’t have to be physical. Students can hit a study wall, if you will. One can come to a point in studying where entering a fact requires removing another fact.
If I am being honest, I would say that there are days I meet each of these definitions of hitting the wall in one way or another as we help mom navigate these sharky waters.
Here are some interrelated tips (for us) about breaking through this caregiving wall:
- Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually…the whole you. You will feel guilty for doing so, I get it. However, if you need to, think of it this way: If you let yourself slide in these ways, you will be less effective as a caregiver. Just as a parent in the plane grabs the oxygen mask first, then connects masks to his or her kids, you must be healthy to help your loved one. I can’t help mom or the Sweet 17 if I am sick or worse.
- Don’t hide or sequester yourself. Get out into the fresh air. Read a book under a tree, take a morning walk, ride your bike, wade fish a little, maybe go for a swim. Dwelling about Dementia doesn’t make it go away any more than hiding under a sheet makes the non-existent Boogeymen flee.
- Rethink your diet. This is an area I simply must rework in my life. Eating comfort foods may bring short-term comfort, but they bring long-term harm. Do as I say, not as I do. 🙁
- Gather a group of friends to help you. You need a team like I have. Dementia/Alzheimer’s is bigger than just you. Call in the reinforcements.
- Don’t be hard on yourself! Guilt will kill you dead as Caesar. Focus on now and going forward and limit the recalling of memories to the good ones.
- Spend a little time studying the disease and what others say, but not too much. Educating yourself to what to watch for is very useful, but being consumed with stories, even my story, can wear on you and cause you to hit the wall. Take in some, serve some, then move on. The stories will be there tomorrow…it is a long goodbye.
- Sleep!! Take Melatonin, if necessary. It is a non-addictive sleep aid that millions use effectively. Sleep is critical to your own mental health and to your ability to fight dementia in your own world. Seek respite help if you are a stay-at-home caregiver. You need 2 full sleep cycles daily, typically 6-8 hours. You do. I don’t care how much sleep you think you need…your brain disagrees.
- Pray and meditate (on the Bible, preferably). It is relaxing and clears your mind of what you can’t fix and onto the one who can fix.
- Fight the temptation to kill the good guys even when they fail you. Nurses, unhelpful family, inattentive doctors, church folks that fail to come by enough…these are still the good guys. Love them where they are and press on. People let us down sometimes…it happens.
- Lean on the strong when you are weak. I am a Christian and I count on Christ to sustain me. Sometimes He focuses on the physical: I haven’t been sick in a couple years despite being in hospitals and nursing homes and around snot-nosed kiddos… a lot. He knows this is a poor time for me to be sick, perhaps? He may let me be sick tomorrow…who knows…but for now I praise Him in wellness. Last night He focused on my emotional/spiritual well-being when He providentially showed my friend and colleague Brian that the Strong’s Concordance citation number for Mom’s favorite number, 5280, is this:
Strong’s Concordance
hupomnésis: a reminding, reminder
Original Word: ὑπόμνησις, εως, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
Transliteration: hupomnésis
Phonetic Spelling: (hoop-om’-nay-sis)
Definition: a reminding, reminder
Usage: remembrance, recollection, putting in mind; a reminder.HELPS Word-studies
(Citation)
Cognate: 5280 hypómnēsis – a remembrance, prompted by the Holy Spirit, urging someone to recall a good memory, etc. (Emphasis mine) This stimulates them to give thanks (take action, etc.). See 5279 (hypomimnēskō).
Mom woke with a fever this morning. This, to me, is good news. It wasn’t a mini-stroke or the like as it sure seemed possible to be!! She must have a UTI or bug of some sorts that has caused her tremendous decline the last 2-3 days. Praying some meds after a visit from the over-busy doc today help quickly.
Keep your heads up troops. 🙂 Let’s fight through the walls that separate us from personal peace and hinder our service to our loved ones. We will get through this long goodbye or , hopefully, we will sing praises of the miracle to everyone we know if we are fortunate to have the first survivor of this terrible disease.
#EndALZ