It seemed so innocent, approaching mundane,
We all draw a blank at times, don’t we?
“Forgetting is just part of life” -My refrain
How in the world did I NOT see?
Ten years ago, my mom’s doc wasn’t concerned
We thought that there were bigger fish to fry
Meanwhile mom’s brain disease burned,
But we just didn’t want to pry.
It is hard to see the blank stares on the phone
Do repeated statements really matter?
She’s just getting older, I bemoan.
Reasons?Big Problem? The latter.
Dementia may come in many forms and speeds
But the result, so far: always the same
The wrecking ball hits, and joy recedes
and douses the victim’s flame.
My Sweet 17 just sit, blank looks abound
Waiting, watching and sleeping all day long
Alone, tired… few visitors are found
They deserve more, this is so wrong.
I am tired of walking the nursing home hall
Seeing newly empty rooms and made beds
A blank sign on the door I recall
Means someone likely is dead
We need dementia treatments; beg for a cure
All other diseases are moving that way
I’m tired of “blanks” you can be sure
Come Lord Jesus…please come today!
Nursing homes are hard places. “Seeing empty rooms can mean the patient was just there on rehab”…I tell myself that so I don’t get sad as I walk the halls. I am just tired of all of the blanks… Sorry this piece was a little on the melancholy side. It reflects my mood pretty well these days. I love my family and I love my job. My spiritual life is doing well. I am just tired of seeing illness and death. However…until this mess is fixed or Jesus returns, I am just tired of seeing illness and death. However…until this mess is fixed or Jesus returns, we advocate, we love, we hug them, we serve caregivers, we pray…ohhh we pray!…and we pray some more and we march on.
Last note: I still feel somewhat responsible for not catching mom’s worsening symptoms faster. The signs were screaming in my face. If your loved one has these signs, please, please, please talk to your doctor. If he or she seems disinterested, find a different doctor. Early diagnosis is very important, even in this stinkin’ disease! Let my bad example be your encouragement to do better.
Update: We had a really nice Thanksgiving meal with mom yesterday. She smiles while Rome burns all around her. She had a great day and all signs of stomach bug are gone. She is fighting and smiling all the way through, even as a shadow of who she was even last year. I love mom. She is a true hero. 🙂
#EndALZ #EndAlzheimers #Walk2EndAlz #AlzAssociation #GoPurple #Dementia #Thanksgiving