Posted 3-23-19
One of the most compelling reasons to get tested and start a baseline for dementia/Alzheimer’s is the improved outcome of those with a strong support structure compared to those without. It is not arguable that patients with an active, loving family and/or community behind them have a much better time fighting disease than those who are alone (or merely feel alone). But what does this community “look like” and are all of them the same? Here are a few thoughts about building a community around yourself or your loved one in the event that this stinkin’ disease visits your home.
- Positive outlooks in the face of negative futures can help. A lot has been written about the healing and life-giving results of a positive attitude, whether it be fighting cancer or any health giant. Conditions under the dementia umbrella seem to also do better with positivity than negativity. The Yale School of Public Health studied nearly 5,000 adults 60 and older, evaluating them with a series of questions about their outlook on getting older and found that being positive about your usefulness in these golden years resulted in a 44% lower risk of dementia than those with a negative outlook, even if the respondent had the high-risk genes associated with he condition. In another study by the same organization, over 600 seniors studied over 20+ years showed that they lived an average of 7.5 years longer with a positive outlook on aging compared to a negative one. Conclusion: Nothing is guaranteed, but being around positive people can lead to being positive yourself, and this can improve outcomes in all kinds of health conditions.
- “Fake it until you make it” only gets you so far in your support community. It may just be a personal preference, but one example of this is the super-exuberant preacher. You know the one…he comes onto the church stage and screams “Hey everyone!!! Are you ready to get our Jesus on??? Woot woot! <Cue laser light display and fog machines>”. While I am certainly joyful in my relationship with Christ, I am also often wounded after a long week and come to worship to thank the Lord for helping me get through it, to thank Him for who He is, and to live life with similarly wounded patients. I look heavenward, moment-by-moment and having a preacher telling semi-funny jokes in more of his time than breaking open the life-giving Word leaves me feeling I just ate cotton candy for lunch after skipping breakfast. Please cut the dog and pony show and offer real bread and meat to those in need. The same need of loving sincerity goes for your daily support group. Tell it like it is, but do so in a loving and positive way knowing that there is always hope and being aware that every human on Earth is technically “terminal”…some are just closer than the rest. Joy can be found among the challenge.
- Multiply joy and divide sorrow in your community. Simple math. When something is good in your group/support circle, celebrate it! Share how your loved one showed a glimpse of the old personality. Take some fun pictures. Share positivity in whatever form for your sake and that of your group. Similarly, divide sorrow. Be available to hug the hurting, whether it be in or out of the dementia realm. Service and advocacy can help you make sense of the condition and help bolster your positive attitude.
- Balance is also important. Too much negativity and service (re: reading Alzheimer’s support posts on Facebook for hours and hours straight) can turn you colder and more negative. Serve and do your part, but not everyone’s part.
- If you can’t serve others at a specific time, support others who can. The process of dying and death itself can leave you cold and not wanting/able to serve. Give yourself time to grieve (time varies by the person) and then serve those still in the struggle. It will help you make sense of the disease and will leave you less jaded and more ready to grow and love those in your group who were there for you.
- Never lose rack of the need to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Your group can help, but you have to participate and be active to maximize the results. F
- If you need a support group or other help, call your areas agency on aging or Alzheimer’s Association offices. Links: Locally: SeniorAge ; Nationally: agency locator; and the Alzheimer’s Association.