Posted 3/5/24
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has a quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. -Psalm 127:3-5
I had never really noticed that the word FAMILY and FAMILIAR were so similar until today. I had to Google it to see how closely they were intertwined and they are…uniquely. Here is what the Etymology Online Dictionary said about the word FAMILIAR (EMPHASIS from me):
familiar (adj.)
mid-14c., “intimate, very friendly, on a family footing,” from Old French famelier “related; friendly,” from Latin familiaris “domestic, private, belonging to a family, of a household;” also “familiar, intimate, friendly,” a dissimilation of *familialis, from familia (see family).
From late 14c. as “of or pertaining to one’s family.” Of things, “known from long association,” from late 15c. Meaning “ordinary, usual” is from 1590s.
The noun meaning “demon, evil spirit that answers one’s call” is from 1580s (familiar spirit is attested from 1560s); earlier as a noun it meant “a familiar friend” (late 14c.). The Latin plural, used as a noun, meant “the slaves,” also “a friend, intimate acquaintance, companion.”
Quite an interesting language we share with our ancestors these days, eh? The family/familiar quickly evolved from what we expected it as to slaved and demons.
Eek.
It certainly wasn’t meant to be this way, mind you. However, family was “familiar” because it was the constant, stable force in the world even when things weren’t very stable. The plague was all the rage from the 1300s to the 1500s and beyond, in the same soil as these family words were sprouting. It was never really a thought to NOT stay close as a family because the family safety net was also, in many circles, tied to the church safety net. While the feudalism/monarchy of the time did afford some protection from barbarians in certain circles, it certainly offered nothing akin to Medicare/Medicaid. The thought of the government providing such would make the average person snort out his ale in laughter. No, the family was Plan A and B and C after the little society could do.
Fast forward and there is practically nothing familiar with today’s world. Family is fragmented at best and completely, irreparably broken at worse.
Why do I bring up this odd beginning to an Alzheimer’s blog? Because we need the family to make a comeback. The family is completely the Underdog these days:
Here are the lyrics:
When criminals in this world appear
And break the laws that they should fear
And frighten all who see or hear
The cry goes up both far and near
For Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog!
Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
Fighting all who rob or plunder
Underdog. Underdog!
When in this world the headlines read
Of those whose hearts are filled with greed
Who rob and steal from those who need
To right this wrong with blinding speed
Goes Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog!
Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
Fighting all who rob or plunder
Underdog. Underdog!
https://hero.fandom.com/wiki/Underdog
I spoke to State Representative Melanie Stinnett the other day about our dementia problem. It is OUR problem, mind you, whether or not you know anyone with the disease simply because of the scope of the problem. We have 120,000 patients and probably a similar amount not diagnosed. We have their families who comprise our families, our neighbors, our co-workers, and more. It is an us problem. We are desperately short-handed in care workers and other trained professionals not to mention the thousands more neurologists we need. The system is super messed up.
WHY?
The family is unfamiliar with their obligation. We are very unfamiliar with the joyous and sober obligation to care for our family, not until they are of age when they move away but until they are gone from this world. There is nothing magical about them living with us when they need care, but it could be an option in many more cases than it actually happens. How do I know that? Because nursing homes are packed to the gills with folks, many of whom should not be cared for there. Nursing homes are convenient. Home care is not. Many people prematurely find themselves in nursing homes for this reason.
There are some government programs designed to help family caregivers. HCBS and CDS are examples. However, there also needs to be more familiarity within the family of even considering caring for senior loved ones themselves. Fewer people are doing it, but it is still saving more and more because of the cost of care (and inflation). If we could just get more folks into a position where they could serve in this way, the stress on the system would lighten and things would be better in staffing. If we could have afforded to have one of us stay home through a similar program, we would have strongly considered it.
Is this oversimplification? Yes. However, it is on the right track. Families, functioning like they should, are always a better option. Now just fixing society/the economy so that they are able to is another issue.
#EndALZ
Update on Mom- Got to see Mom for the first time in a week yesterday after a week with COVID. She had a seizure yesterday morning, but got better throughout the day. I am heading there today after work again to follow up. I can tell you with no reservations that she gets very solid care and even more so because we are always there.
Last thought: These folks love continuity and routine. Having a loved one care for them in their own house is ideal. It is NOT perfect. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t stay home with your loved one. I get it. I can’t. The system is broken. But if you can, even for a while, lean in to help where you can get it. The Area Agencies on Aging and the Alzheimer’s Association are your friends. Utilize their help! The both try a great deal!
