11/27/18
Quick note if you are now entering Alzheimer’s-land with a loved one. (That is surely the worst amusement park name idea ever!! Sorry…if you can’t cry, sometimes laughing is just as good 😉 )
Gathering.
Sigh… My mom has, for at least the last 13 months, been a gatherer. When you
fear losing stuff, the most basic yet strongest pathways in your brain megaphone-shout
“Keep my stuff where I can find it!…I am really struggling here.”
You know the feeling of misplacing your phone?? Like that…except with
everything! My mom started at home keeping a purse, then a bigger purse, then a
plastic tub. Things that were important devolved into things she only thought
were important.
Now in full-time care, as she has slid toward late
stage Alzheimer’s, she is often a travelling U-Haul of stuff. Mind you, we
didn’t bring much with her. We took primarily clothing, a few picture collages,
coloring stuff…you know the sort. Most of the Sweet 17 were in the same boat.
It tends to be kind of a commune in the memory ward. The mobile ladies like my
mom visit and borrow and give stuff. It is not abnormal to see mom in someone
else’s watch (see picture below) although she has one similar that someone else
has. The nurses have an inventory, but it is hard if not impossible to
reconcile. Note in every picture there is often a quilt-covered pile stash?
That is mom’s “stuff”.
🙁 She is not a thief…never
has been. Confusion and circumstances mess up filters and everything seems like
it should be her’s to her. It makes me queasy and, when the Lord takes her home
someday I will be 100% sure to see to it that her stash gets redistributed. At
first we spent the first half of our time trying to figure out who owned
what…to no avail.
Lastly a quick statement of encouragement. Don’t gather and carry around guilt as you care for your loved one. Do your very best, find others to help, love your loved one with all your ability like they are even when the hoarding/gathering/other behavior gets frustrating. For many, including my mom, it is just a phase that will get easier over time. Don’t give up. The brain bandit may win some battles, but you will too. Ride this roller coaster to the end. Heck, hop on and ride again and help others while you are at it. Life is surely not boring in the memory ward…
#EndALZ
***If you need help finding help caring for your senior loved one with this disease, call your local area agency on aging or the Alzheimer’s Association office. In my area, my employer, a non-profit called SeniorAge Area Agency on Aging, is your first place to call. 🙂