Posted 12/4/23
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Gal 6:2
How do we get the word out so that fewer and fewer are caught off-guard by this disease? I get multiple “Deer in the Headlights” calls every single week. It makes me sad because the disease is bad enough without having such a learning curve required of the caregiver.
I stumbled upon this video on Facebook this weekend. Watch this (with Kleenex in hand) :
I have shared this previously with my small support group email, but I want to widen the net a bit. We discussed it on the FB post too: LINK
There was some push back on Facebook on this. The complaints were largely 3 things:
1. It furthered stereotypes that it is just about memories.
2. If you try hard enough, they will open up.
3. They are just trying to make money from the suffering.
While I understand and appreciate the issues people had with it, to me the biggest missed opportunity was not pointing to a special alz.org website that told more. I agree that not everyone gets a huge epiphany moment like that…but I would expect we have nearly all had some moments of joy. My mom smiled 2 times this month after not smiling for at least 6 months. To me, that was enormous!
The video doesn’t set expectations well. We definitely need to be careful what we expect of our loved ones, but if we dwell on the blank stares the temptation is to give up and assume that reality is the best we will ever have and we miss the little shoot of joy they try to present. It is an ultramarathon, not a sprint. It simplified fixing the disease as a matter of will…which was a big swing and miss.
There is validity to the first complaint. It is indeed much more than about memory and the focus of the commercial was memory. That being said, memory is a huge facet of the disease. The poor soul with the disease in the video also highlighted isolation/withdrawal, walking difficulties, and speech difficulty, all of which are warning signs. That being said, it focused on memories…which was the point of the video.
The third complaint, to me, isn’t as valid. Using emotion to sell is normal…almost expected. The bottom line to me is whether they depicted it right more than whether it enhanced their brand. Few people complained about these wonderful videos that one could argue did the same:
(LINK)
and this wonderful one:
(LINK)
I hate this disease, friends. I want to never get a “deer in the headlights” call again, yet I get them often. We can be a force to help fight back. You loving your loved one hard in this tragic time is the best thing the outside world can see. Thank you for your loving service to them day in and day out! 🙂
Eat the meat and spit out the bones in the Chevy video, but I really like it and felt like they did their best.
Now look at some of treatment from the award-winning This is Us (Extreme Spoilers here):
LINK (Shows the value of early testing and having a care team)
LINK (Diagnosis, Denial, early stage/MCI, family strife)
LINK (“Senior Moments”, denial, reversing roles)
LINK (Wandering/Getting lost/Forgetting important details)
My issue with the This is Us treatment, and why I haven’t finished it, is it is too much. They did a great job in the scenes I have watched (and I watched all of the first 4 seasons). However, it was too good. Maybe I am just in a wrong place emotionally for it and it was hitting too close to home and someone who isn’t (yet) in this same place will benefit perfectly from this treatment?
I am just curious, because I want to help with this kind of thing wherever I can. Information is the I in IT, my chosen profession for 20 years. I want the right amount of information (without too much) being shared liberally so that it reduces the multitude of Deer in the Headlights.
What are your thoughts? How does the word about this disease spread better/accurately/without over-simplication/with hope, but not false hope?
Thank you. I don’t have all of the answers, but that will never stop me from trying to. 😉
#EndALZ
Mom was tired a lot the last few days. She made good eye contact with me and seemed to respond to a small ruckus happening around us. (That happened when there are people with dementia around…It isn’t always quiet.) Her roomier has some lung crud, like nearly everyone I know right now.
Keep safe, all! Thank you for all you are doing to fight this disease!