Posted Lucky January “13”th
Hi all! I trust you had a splendid weekend, finalizing the clearing out of your Christmas goods and getting back into the grind of everyday life? As I alluded to without getting too specific (to protect my family while I was gone), I traveled all week, last week to Las Vegas, Nevada. Have you heard of it? 😉 My more specific destination: The Consumer Electronic’s Show (CES) held at the Las Vegas Convention Center, The Sands Convention Center, The Venetian Convention Center and seemingly every other free space in town. My mission: I had 3 full days to attempt to see the 5,000 exhibitions along with nearly 200,000 of my closest friends. (In reality, these weren’t really “close” friends as far as actually knowing any but one of them, but they sure were squeezed right next to me like sardines for this 72-hour fun ride that is CES. Zoinks Scoob were we packed!) So, this week (or more) our little cornbread table will be used for discussing the many aspects of the trip and how it related to dementia. Trust me…it did. Today I discuss airplanes.
(Semi-off-topic alert) Last week, before heading west, I met with my family for a last Christmas celebration. In the realm of lemon/lemonade-making, I can tell you that, while divorce does typically suck for all parties involved, it does often make for more Christmas and other holiday celebrations…something we have enjoyed for decades. One of the things we did at said party was a throwback from our childhood: we played with balsa wood gliders and a Schmurltz (the latter a topic for a later day….It was a game we created 40 years ago with a tube sock and a softball.) These gliders will co-anchor our topic today.
Do you like to fly? It seems like most people have super strong feelings about travelling this way, whether positive or negative.
Some enjoy flying (I am pretty sure a bird was the commentator here.) :
Others hate it:
I tend to enjoy flying. I have a routine I follow: I pray, I always touch the plane as I enter it and thank the pilots and flight attendants, and I always shoot for a window seat. The way I figure it, if it is going down, I would like to see it happen.
On the way to Vegas, the flight was smooth. On the way back, not-so-much. We hit Springfield’s airport an hour after a tornado and during a storm of its own. The plane experienced some pretty nifty turbulence (if, by “nifty” I mean “not nifty at all”) the last 30 minutes. We shook around quite a bit.
I filmed my water bottle as a point of reference. It reminded me waaaaay too much of this iconic, if somewhat gross/family-unfriendly movie scene: https://youtu.be/EEljXeYMxRo
Here was a long, somewhat boring loo at our takeoff. Flying is truly a scientific marvel!:
So, what does flying have to do with dementia you might be asking? (Probably not…you know I will shoe-horn it in somehow. 😉 )
Here are 10 things that come to mind:
- The stronger the material, the easier it is to protect. Balsa wood is light and just a little stronger than paper. I broke my glider toot sweet. A jumbo jet is extremely heavy and strong. The brain, while surrounded with a very strong skull, is easily “broken” once you pass this hard candy shell. Protect your brain physically (avoid/treat concussions very seriously) and chemically (eat a diet that is heart healthy) and it will more likely thrive than if you do not.
- Routine matters. Everything about flying screams routine. The airport is full of almost (or actual) robotic voices playing over the intercoms directing people to and fro. Everything has a methodology, whether getting checked in, passing security (take your shoes and belt off before you get to the conveyor belt), boarding, learning the plane safety info. All is orchestrated, for better or worse, quite similarly regardless which airport you visit. While it may be annoying getting use to this routine, once you get used to it, any deviation throws you off. In dementia, routine in everyday living is huge! When you are struggling to make decisions and/or understand what is going on around you, seeing the familiar is huge. Memory units thrive when they avoid change and are challenged when they cannot. I cannot overstate this important fact.
- Turbulence happens to the best of us. Plan for it. We knew we were flying into bad weather on the way home Friday night. Our pilots even warned us several times when it was about to happen so we could quickly take a potty break or prep the stuff at our seats. Similarly, mom knew (better than we did) that she was struggling and she exercised, did brain games and took other measures to fight it. If we would have been as aware as she was we would have also had her on the class of medicines that can extend the early/easier stages of the disease. Do you sense any turbulence? Here is a checklist of things to watch for. When in doubt, talk to your doctor.
- Experience matters. I was glad to see that we had two pilots and that one seemed a little older than the other. A second person is always comforting. Does your doctor brush off your mention of dementia? If so, get a second opinion, preferably someone with experience in the field. Not all primary care doctors know enough or treat the condition seriously.
- Surrounding yourself with the right people helps. In flying, this can be hard unless you are able to afford to buy a block of seats. The lady to my right slept, loudly, the whole way back. The neck pillow didn’t prevent the buzz saw coming from her nasal area. The lady in front of me was watching a show (Game of Thrones?) with very graphic nudity and violence. Had there been any kids around I would have surely complained. The return flight was fine, but was more stressful than it needed to be because of those around me. In dementia we need to surround ourselves with a positive, ready-to-help team and lean on them. Fight off the drama llama and, instead, gather helpers. You need medical professionals, a social worker, a lawyer, family, respite help, and more. You cannot and should not go it alone.
- Baggage matters. On Allegiant Airlines, you are allowed a small bag below your seat and a slightly larger one above you in the compartment. Be sure only what you need are with you since fitting stuff in these areas can be hard. When you get a diagnosis of a loved one/yourself, clear the baggage too. Apologize when necessary. Make peace. Seek forgiveness when possible and always offer it. I know there are lots of things I would like to tell mom, but that window is closed. Take advantage of every moment and eliminate baggage where you can.
- Study hard. I like to read on a plane. It keeps my mind off of the fact that I am 40,000 feet above the ground and often proves to be a fruitful time of learning. I am too busy most days to read for 3-4 hours at a time and a flight is the cat’s meow for that. When you enter the dementia fray, study hard. Learn all you can about caregiving and the disease itself. Teepa Snow is a great place to start although there are many. Your local Alzheimer’s Association field office and/or area agency on aging have lots of outstanding classes to learn about the subject. The more familiar you are with the topic, the more prepared you can be.
- Time matters. My flight to Las Vegas was delayed 30 minutes a few hours before we left. No worries, right? Maybe not…until the next text update came in with a revised delay of six hours! Now instead of leaving at 8pm, I would be leaving at nearly 4am. My car rental wouldn’t hold my car that long. My hotel still charged me. I was exhausted the entire first day. On the way to the convention center, not thinking clearly, I was pulled over for driving with my phone out. (Yes, human trafficking and smoking pot are, to a measure, ok, but using your phone while you drive is strictly verboten. Sigh.) No ticket, but lots of stress, all caused by my time getting all out of whack. In dementia, time is also critical. Sundowners, sleeping all day and wondering all night, causes all sorts of problems from falls to exhaustion. Scheduling, as mentioned before, is critical. Even the stages of the illness are a time matter. If you focus on capabilities instead of disabilities, by knowing and understanding the disease’s time progression, your caregiving and your stress will get easier. Maximize your time. You will wish you had when they are gone.
- I am not a germophobe, but I have my limits. Planes are a germ breeding ground if there ever was one. Fill up a house with 200 people who all seem to sneeze and wheeze and hack on you for your three hour visit, and you are bound to be uncomfortable. Oh, the germs play in to dementia as well. General hygiene is huge in caregiving. While I don’t have a solid number, I suspect a lot of folks in our community die of infection from bedsores and urinary tract infections (sepsis). All respect for fighting germs goes out the window in a memory unit. I have seen ladies share false teeth! Sigh. The staff does the best they can to fight these invisible killers, but they are severely outnumbered. All we can do is do our best. Wash our hands early and often. Don’t visit if you are sick. Watch what is touched.
- Attitude matters. While I didn’t get a picture or video of them, there were two grade-school girls about four rows in front of me that were having a blast on the jet! I am not sure if momma slipped them a special brownie or how they stayed so happy, but they truly had fun. Toward the end, when we were all wondering if it WAS the end, they would raise their hands every time the turbulence hit ala roller coaster! Their flight was enhanced, as was mine, just watching them. if you struggle caregiving or with the disease, don’t give up! Find positive things to think on. If you show stress, the patient sees the non-verbal cue and gets stressed too. Take breaks. Get help. Practice deep breathing. Steal a nap when you can. Watch something funny. Read some Psalms. You are in for a long, hard flight. You need some little hand-raisers along the way!
I wish I could take this mess from your lives. In would buy it a one-way ticket to hell from whence it came if I was able. In really would. CES, as fun as it was, couldn’t stop me from thinking about mom day-in and day-out, even in the midst of the event. Soooo much can and will be said this week about my trip, but don’t think for a minute running from it eliminates the angst. Thank you for a lean week last week, topic-wise. I look forward to making up for lost time this week as we fight to #EndALZ together!
Update: Mom was fine last week. Many follow-ups, check-ins and the like. I fought off guilt too, which was easier since she is doing so well, all things considered.
#CES
#Vegas
#ConsumerElectronicsShow
#CES2020