Posted 2-21-20
This cannot be real.
She is only sixty-five
Far too young for this!
(Denial, 10 years ago)
Like a road flare glows.
(Hashtag) End A+L+Z begs
Something! Anything!!
(Anger)
How about this, Lord?
Give me dementia, not her?
Not Your will, but mine?
(Bargaining, poorly)
The Brain Bandit Comes.
What once was is all but gone,
Replaced with crime tape.
(Depression)
Opportunities.
They come/go like mosquitoes
The itch comes after.
(More depression)
If I could choose one.
Dementia or a dump truck?
Who needs that cross walk??
(How about some more depression?)
They don’t understand.
The mashup of emotions
This mess causes me.
(Did I mention depression?)
Memories may fade.
But dementia cannot take
Mom’s eternity
(Acceptance)
But trust never wanes.
Yet the sadness of watching
Makes me yearn for home.
(More Acceptance)
Helpless not hopeless.
By His stripes we are healed
Now?/eternally?
(More acceptance)
Stages proceeding.
Lots of science, opinions
Yet it’s in His hands.
(More acceptance)
So we wait and love.
Trusting, fighting, serving now…
(praying for a cure.)
(Acceptance)
Do you need some help?
We’re in this mess together.
Dividing sorrow.
(Final Acceptance)
Update: Mom was doing better yesterday. Her bed sore is doing better and hospice gives her a bath today and double-checks everything. Sigh…It takes a team to stall for a cure. I am a very small cog in that care wheel. The medical team and my stepdad do much more. Have a wonderful weekend! I will see you at the Table Monday morning. 🙂
#EndALZ
Note: 5 Stages of Grief
One of the insidious things about dementia is you get the thrill of grieving twice. First the original person and then what he or she becomes through the stages of the disease. Treat your mental health seriously just like your physical health! 🙂