–or– The Therapeutic Value of a Kind Touch
Posted 10-3-19
“I Want To Hold Your Hand”
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beatles/iwanttoholdyourhand.html
Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something
I think you’ll understand
Then I’ll say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
Oh please, say to me
You’ll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You’ll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy
Inside
It’s such a feeling that my love
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
Yeah, you got that something
I think you’ll understand
Then I’ll say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy
Inside
It’s such a feeling that my love
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
Yeah, you got that something
I think you’ll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
While their lyrics may have became more suggestive later in their careers, I have always liked how comparatively innocent The Beatles big splash song “I Want to Hold Your Hand” was. Can you fathom a modern group singing a song like that? Katy Perry? How about Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga? The Stones? Neither can I.
Regardless of the intent of the song writers, today, in the place I live emotionally, the lyrics ring true in a different way. When I sit with mom and talk to her and she attempts to talk back, or when I laugh or make a face and she laughs in frustrated joy, we communicate in our odd little way. But when she is stressed or, as was the case yesterday, when she was pretty tremor-y, the only thing that could help was sitting with her and holding her hand and/or giving her a hug. That small amount of physical touch was “something I think (she’ll) understand”…and she did and does.
Indeed, physical touch at any age is good for us. Very good for us. Take it away, whether we are a baby or a senior battling this hot mess, it harms us. It is an intimate part of who we are and a signifies that things will be ok….universally.
There are health benefits galore to physical touch/hand holding/Massage: Here are a few:
- Stress Relief
- Boosts love and bonding
- Lowers blood pressure which can help the heart…and anything good for the heart is good for the brain.
- Pain relief
- Fights fear
- Enhances a sense of security
- “Multiple studies — including one conducted at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) — show that human touch triggers the release of oxytocin, aka “the love hormone,” in our brain. Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that increases feelings of trust, generosity and compassion, and decreases feelings of fear and anxiety.”
- “On a physiological level, participants were able to better cope with pain and discomfort when they were holding hands because the act of holding hands decreased the levels of stress hormones like cortisol in their body. In other words, if stress is contagious, apparently a feeling of calm is contagious, too. ” (Citation)
- Adults who don’t receive regular human touch — a condition called skin hunger or touch hunger — are more prone to suffer from mental and emotional maladies like depression and anxiety disorders. (Citation)
- Better sleep
- Fights aloneness
- Reminds us that we are human and not just a walking disease.
- More and more and more…
Does any of this list of things sound like a good thing for a patient with dementia? That’s what I thought too. They struggle in all of these areas and if we have the power to help just by a squeeze or some hand holding, why wouldn’t we try?
This is the sad reality of the millions in nursing homes that have zero visitors, ever. According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution, these numbers are staggering. The article states “According to the National Center for Health Statistics, more than 50 percent of nursing home residents have no close relatives, and 46 percent have no living children. An estimated 60 percent of nursing home residents never have visitors.”
While I cannot verify the veracity of the article writer, I have seen similar numbers in other publications and have experienced it with the Sweet 17. Most do not have visitors…ever. 🙁
So, my conclusion?:
- Holding hands and loving, non-sexual physical touch is critically healthy;
- and, most damsels in distress and wounded knights in shining armor have no family and can only hope the understaffed nursing homes make time to hold their hands.
- Therefore, we have a problem. A sad one.
Sorry for the link dump here, bit take a look at just some of the links available citing the health value of holding hands (or hand massage):
Link Link Link Link Link Link Link Link Link
There are many, many more, and I spared you the dozens of scholarly articles available on the topic.
Do we care about these precious men and women, who are made in the image of our Lord? If so, we need to spend time with them more, learn their stories, share their pain…and hold their hands until the end.
#EndALZ
Editor’s notes:
- It is courteous, the societal norm, and the right thing to do to ask permission to those who don’t know you if you can hold their hand.
- The skin of a senior can be super thin. Be very gentle. Use a mild skin lotion if you are going to offer a hand or arm massage. Watch for sores and/or IV marks.
- I cannot confirm or deny whether mom liked the Beatles, but I suspect she did. 🙂
Need some more encouragement to visit? Here ya go. 🙂
Update: Mom did well yesterday. She is getting quieter and quieter, but is still very happy. We “talked” a little, held hands and watched us some Andy Griffith. Mom is a gem.
#EndALZ