Posted 3-10-20
Have you ever noticed how life seems to be made up of 1,000,000 small decisions? While I realize this is kind of a cliche, who would I be to be too innovative when the best wisdom is widely available out there for the asking?
Take exercise, for instance. I have gotten up at the same time of day every day (pretty much) for the last year. However, the last 2 months, I have gotten up at my normal time, then headed to the gym. Therefore, this fact, plus the plate discipline being on WW has refreshed my memory of, I have lost 31 pounds as of yesterday. I still need to over 100 pounds more. So, as with my norm, I suggest to you a few tips of how to do something huge in life bit-by-bit:
- Just a little bit more. That would make a nice title for this piece. 😉 My game plan on my diet/exercise regimen this round can be summarized with this phrase. Every day I try to do something food-wise and diet-wise that is a little bit better than before. This will prove hard with the intake part because it is only healthy to do so much in that realm. However, there are small changes we can do every day to help for quite a while. Maybe a little more water? Dressing on the side instead of on the salad? One less Girl Scout cookie? In exercise, this, so far, has been quite easy although it is starting to get harder. When I started at Planet Fitness, I was walking at 3 mph on the treadmill with no incline. Every day I added .1 to the speed or one increment on the incline for a few weeks. Then I moved to a recumbent bike and inched up too. Next an upright bike (…sure what it is called…). A few weeks later, this is where I am:
The same can apply to dementia care as well. Take everything day-by- day and hour-by-hour and minute-by-minute. Lean on friends, family and organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association and your local Area Agency on Aging for help and for respite time. Taking care of a loved one with dementia is typically a marathon, not a sprint.
- Give yourself grace. In dieting, then not dieting and gaining back again like my article yesterday chronicled, don’t give up. Forgive yourself for your dieting faux pas history. Try to do better the next hour, the next day and the next week. In caregiving, for better or worse, you often have some time to think back at ten thousand “I wish I woulda’s”. Examples: I wish I would have told mom that I can help more. I wish I would have answered calls that I let go to the answering machine. I wish I would have just cleaned my stinking room when she asked. Feel free to say your sorry to your less-than-communicative loved one…then forgive yourself. Being sad won’t help you or him/her and you never know…they may have understood better than you realize. We can’t change the past, but we can change the present and the future. Resolve to care for them the best you can in this time of need, one unit at a time.
- Beating a dead horse here…but you didn’t get where you are in a day and you won’t be able to fix it in a day. When you are 100+ pounds overweight, the temptation is to demand of yourself a quick fix where none is possible. Turn the ship and move in the right direction…and don’t quit! You will get there. There will be choppy waters, but you will indeed dock at the other side if you don’t give up. In caregiving, also please don’t give up. Get help from the above-mentioned groups. Lean on church friends. Find an Alzheimer’s Caregiver support group. If it is too much, and you cannot keep your loved one safe (as was the case with my family), arrange care in a facility knowing you did your best…and don’t give up there either. Visit early and often. Maintain an active role in your loved one’s care. If the facility hinders you in that area, MOVE THEM. You know your loved one better than they ever will. I am convinced as much as I believe in a round Earth that the patients who have active visitor logs have active care (and the flipside). If you are there, things will go better for your loved one in terms of care/joy/etc… and they will go better for you in terms of guilt…and joy. They didn’t get this bad in a day and you can’t fix the situation in a day either…but you can make things better sooner than you think through your visits.
- Wearing yourself out or hurting yourself is counterproductive. Yes, thank you. You can call me Mr. Obvious RedundantPants . In exercise, stretch first, drink plenty of fluids and know your body. Work hard, but within your ability and at the edge of your comfort level. If you overdo it by placing unrealistic expectations on yourself and stop exercising to “recover”…then don’t get back on the exercise/dieting train, you have hurt your chances of success. Same goes with taking care of your loved one. Don’t think you have to do it alone. Take care of yourself. Eat right. Find respite to sleep better. Take breaks. Again, find a support group. Like I have said a thousand times and like the flight attendant tells you every flight, “stop trying stick wadded up balls of paper in the nose of the snoring man’s next to you!!!”…I mean, you “put on the oxygen mask first, then help your children get their’s on.” Seriously, if you are feeling guilty for not doing this deal 24/7 remember, you can be a better caregiver if you stay healthy than if you overdo it. Bless others by letting them help and be blessed too.
Lots of small things make up who we are. Remember that. Eat that elephant one bite at a time…but be sure it is a grilled elephant if you are on WW.
#EndALZ
Update: We got a nice, padded device to keep mom from rolling out of bed again. Too many near miss falls lately. This should help. She is doing good all things considered and is still precious. 🙂
Diet update from yesterday: -1.8 for the week and -31 since 1/20. Happy, yet giving myself grace daily.
I enjoyed this! Thx
Thank you very much!!