Posted 1/30/24
The hearing ear and the seeing eye, the Lord has made them both. – Prov. 20:12
I shared this on our work intranet today, but thought it may deserve more time. 🙂
It is so interesting to me how we are seemingly pre-wired with things that fit like a Lego piece in our minds. Our senses help explain this phenomenon too. If we can accept /recognize these things about humanity and take advantage of them, we can make connections when the challenges of dementia or similar neurological conditions strike.
Just a few examples:
- This article talks about using Legos as a connection aid (Or this if you would be forced to pay for the article to the left) : We often like to build and create things. Art seems to be naturally wired into us as a way of expressing ourselves. Puzzles, coloring, etc…all great for quite a while in dementia care for many.
- Hearing/Music- (Article, of many, on the topic): Whether we fully “enjoy” music or not, our bodies strive for many musical realities, if you think about it. When we walk next to each other, we walk in harmony/rhythm, almost immediately) Even a prolonged hug or hand hold or other physical touch has been shown to cause heartbeats to sync up in almost musical harmony. Period music has been shown to perk up a person with dementia in all sorts of ways. It helps speech, it reduced anxiety, and it just flat enhances the quality of life. Related: Movement/dance- Even in a chair, we tap our feet/hands to the beat and our BP normalizes and we get some exercise, in mind and body..
- Smell- Smell has some similar power to help with cognition. LINK
- Taste- While tastes can vary and change in dementia, there is a connection with familiar foods. This is a great article on the topic. and These are Tips for those struggling with eating
- Touch- Hand-holding/hand massage is still very helpful in fighting stress in those with the disease. Interesting article on touch.
- Sight- Pictures, even to someone with more profound dementia, still have value. Note: use an expository speech “Hey, this is you and Uncle Joe! That looks so fun!” and not a quiz “remember when we did this…?” This is a great piece on the topic: https://www.txalz.org/blog/powerofphotos/
So as we provide our loved ones dementia care, pretty do exactly the opposite of what many over-busy, understaffed nursing homes do: use these senses to your advantage in connecting with your loved one. Play period music. Put on a wax melt of…hmmmm….maybe apple pie? Pop some popcorn. Eat some foods from their youth together. Break out the pictures and tell him/her the old stories again. Visit nature, even if it in your own back yard…some fresh air will do both of you good as long as the weather allows. Tell the stories (and use them like a detective should behaviors like wandering/sundowning happen…they may explain what is going on).
Setting the stage by engaging the senses (in a good way) and making good eye contact, face-to-face can work wonders in making a whole day, a long visit, or just some time together in fellowship better than ever. 🙂
Last things…a few videos of my mom engaging the senses and having a great day.
https://youtu.be/t6rHSTJyI60 (5 years ago now)
https://youtu.be/KKqctzDdLtk?si=fcO85dp9sI93asvh (A fun one that has only little to do with the topic)
https://youtube.com/shorts/ODW0-C9HWnA Dancing is great too 🙂
#EndALZ
Update: Mom is using the force when I feed her at night. I was with her 2 hours yesterday and she ate 75% of her food…without ever opening her eyes even for 10 seconds the entire visit. Is this a bad sign? Perhaps, but it has happened off and on for a while. She also has dry eyes that we medicate with drops…but it just seemed like she wanted them shut so I didn’t push it. In reality, we still had a nice visit. 🙂
(Guilt teeter-totter presents itself… Wishing she was able to fly away, without pain, to heaven for her sake… today… At the same time, feeling like even mentioning such a thing produces a similar guilt equivalent to wishing a pillow be put over her head. It is a terrible feeling. Terrible. Am I over-fearing her passing or under-appreciating heaven…or both..in this pre-guilt?)
Guilt seems to be present in so many situations. My 94 yr old mother got Covid in early January and she was isolated for 10 days. I didn’t visit her and she went downhill rapidly. She’s down to 83 lbs now and malnourished. I feel guilty for not visiting and seeing after her. We called in Hospice.
I am very sorry. 🙁 Please don’t feel guilty. She wouldn’t want that and she WOULD want you to be careful for your own health. That year and a half of COVOD lockouts at the nursing home was terrible too. Window visits for folks with dementia are worthless…almost worse than no visit 🙁 Right in the middle of COVID, they cleared out a room to allow us all to say goodbye to mom, stretching the overarching policy. She perked up and we were able to stay several days until they finally kicked us out and said “We were wrong…she is not imminently going to pass away” 🙁 Sigh…we went months again after than with no visits. Just like the prison movie, that is why I referred to those months as Shawshank Re:Dementia