Posted 10-10-19 as pulled from the home page of digitalcornbread.com written in March of 2019 (is it too early to reminisce?):
The Cambridge Dictionary defines a vicissitude as “changes that happen at different times during the life or development of someone or something, especially those that result in conditions being worse.” Example: Losing is going to just one of the vicissitudes of life if you are a Cubs fan.
As I prepped my first blog post under the heading of “Alzheimer’s, Mom and the Sweet 17”, I had to hop on social media and emotionally rewind the clock to October 2018 to refresh myself of my mindset of that fateful day.
10-10 wasn’t supposed to be that way. Rewind 10,000 years to AD 1990. I was engaged to be married June 10th of that year, just after my bride-to-be graduated. Circumstances beyond the scope of your ability to remain awake necessitated we change that date. My beautiful fiancé and I had scoped out 6/10/90 as the serendipitously ideal date for our nuptials! We loved Arby’s as a date restaurant and our taste-buds-etched-in-stone standard meal there cost exactly $6.10. Yahtzee! We labelled our paper football-ishly- folded love notes, that we passed in class instead of studying, 6/10/90…or SWALCAKDS (Google it if you need to ).
So, 6/10/90 was our day…until it wasn’t. In an attempt to adult a bit, I suggested 10-10 as a replacement date since 6/10/90 fell through. Sounded similar enough. Even looked good on my love notes. If you dig through our love notes today you can find some 10/10 logos gracing the covers. Adulting, slowly but surely, took hold again when I realized a few weeks later, while looking gingerly at my fragile $3.80/hour paycheck (and knowing my bride-to-be made even less), that a Wednesday wedding would likely necessitate a Thursday return to work. Honeymoon Schmoneymoon. Back to Sears with you, Mark. After a short, non-(teenaged)-arm-twisting, we decided that a Friday would be ideal. I could go to college that morning, get dressed in the white wedding gear and head out for the weekend…in time for a Monday return to work and school. 11/2/1990 proved to be the perfect wedding date starting off a perfecter weekend. I have bought $11.02 in gas when possible for nearly 3 decades to remind my bride of my love as she figures the checkbook. Turned out to be the perfect date. Serendipitous all along. (Note to self: Someday I need to surprise my stunning bride with a longer honeymoon.)
All sounds like it went glowingly after a brief hiccup or two, blog writer! You are still super happily married and you pull out a 12 cent word (Vicissitude) that sounds like an antonym for the serendipity of your love story. If that was the end of the story of 10/10, you would be spot on.
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Fast forward to 10/10/19. Vicissitude indeed…. A year ago today mom moved into the memory unit.
A year has passed. The **flat Earth has spun like a frisbee around the sun at the breakneck speed of 66,616 mph for 365 1/4 days again, but it seems like only the 1/4 of a day has passed. When mom entered this rotation around the sun, she could walk very well (we would routinely walk for miles), she could play a hundred songs on the piano and she could talk albeit confused and frustrated at most times. She was hoarding and hiding, bobbing and weaving and living life behind smoke and mirrors, trying to keep things together. We were trying to keep her safe. She was very nervous most of the time as her memories fled like the leaves from my seasonally forlorn oak tree in last night’s fall storm. Today, however, she is happy most all of the time sans memory. She can see better now (she has laser eye surgery, amazingly, in the last year.) She has met and been helped by our crew the best we can this year and we are still stalling, praying, and hoping a cure is found before it is too late. What a year it has been!
Thank you all for your friendship, your words of encouragement, your prayer and your advice this year. All 5000+ of you subscribers matter to me even if a few of you are bots sent by Mark Zuckerberg. Thank you to my 545 and counting Facebook Page Like friends, my Alz. group friends and the rest of social media. Thank you to my Alzheimer’s caregiver support group friends in Willard. You are super special to me! Thank you to my new, graceful and talented friend Stacey who will co-facilitate our upcoming caregiver support group (Next Tuesday night at 6 is the first meeting!!). Thank you to my many work friends/family at SeniorAge Area Agency on Aging and the Alzheimer’s Association.
Thank you to my extended family, all of whom have helped and are praying for mom and the rest. A huge thank you to my sister and brother (and spouses) for all you have done this year and for your prayer, day-in and day-out! You are are the bedrock of the care team and I love you guys! Thank you gobs to my family at home…to Suz, my love, my bride, my everything…Thank your for being patient with the long nights, the emotional husband and the rest, I love you! Thank you to my kiddos Miranda (and husband Dillon), Lindsey and Phillip who have extended me grace and lots of love through an hard year.
And most of all, thank you to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who has enabled me to stay strong and has never left my side. He knows pain, having endured infinitely more than us, and weeps with us when we weep even though He knows the beginning and the end. When I am alone now and 10-20 years from now when/if I end up with this hot mess (minus a cure), He will still sustain me and be there for me when others cannot. Thank you Lord.
#EndALZ
Update: Yesterday, as is the new typical, mom went from quiet, happily still to, out of the blue, very happy, quite verbal and alert/cogent. It was like a happy version of 10/10/18. Today or tomorrow she will most certainly not be that way, but such is the roller coaster. I can completely agree with Teepa Snow’s assessment of the stages of Alzheimer’s when she would describe mom as a pearl. Yesterday, I got to see the gem beneath the shell more than usual, and I rejoiced in the time. 🙂 We gotta find a cure or some treatment folks….
Note: I am sorry for the folks I forgot to thank…there are many. Caregivers, the dude at the gas station that said something nice about my Walk to End Alzheimer’s shirt, and a 1,000 1,000 others. Thank you.
**The Earth is spherical, not at all flat. If a frisbee was that spherical, you could play basketball with it.