Posted 1-2-20 …that seems weird to type.
My family, especially my oldest and I, love puzzles. There is something visually-pleasing about transforming a huge pile of colored blobs into a cohesive picture, then tearing it down again. Here is my daughter’s Christmas puzzle:
Dementia is a puzzle too. Here is how:
- As best we understand it, memory isn’t too far removed from being like a puzzle. There is no real storage location for individual memories/experiences, just a section/box in the inner brain that combines and organizes impulses and “memories” then combines them into thoughts with other sensory-oriented parts of our system. Like a bunch of pieces of a puzzle, these mini-memories (that are really not memories at all) can be combined in a bunch of ways and pictures take shape. Unlike a regular puzzle, though, these pieces have interchangeable parts and the same piece can be used in a multitude of ways. “Ahhh!” your brain says with the help of his pals in the olfactory branch office , “I smell cinnamon”. The vision branch chimes in “Look around for that round item with slits and deliberately humped edges. It may have steam coming from it.” All things are considered…instantly!!!…and the concept of “pie” is “remembered”.
- If you are missing a piece, things get messed up. My daughter’s puzzle has 750 pieces. The brain has many, many more interdependent pieces to work with. Missing one piece is bad. Missing progressively more pieces is even worse.
- Memory has edges, if you will, like puzzles do. I think the most logical and common way to put a puzzle together is to create a border and work your way in. The brain seems to have a core group of memories that take longer to be harmed by the disease. Mom could play the piano and sing even up to a couple of months ago, but hasn’t known my name for a couple of years. It isn’t so much a level of importance (I am important to mom) as it is strategic location and reference pointing place mat. I think mom’s piano and singing is a place of peace from the storm for her. Her brain can do those things without stress and tension so that it can stay available should an emergency happen. She can do her favorite things somewhat on autopilot. The brain loves and craves rest for this reason.
- There are tricks for puzzles and there are tricks for memory until dementia takes them away. My daughter uses a perfectly flat dry erase board to hold her pieces as she assembles her puzzle. She props up the box picture so she can refer to it. She keeps the cat away, as best she can, as she assembles the picture. Tricks simplify until dementia takes away their help. Dementia takes away the smooth surface and makes it move and function in 3D. It takes away the box reference point as key memories are scrambled and removed. Minus these key memories, a million million reference points are thrown into disarray. Even the pieces change shape in dementia such that what used to match ceased to do so. It is a cruel, unfair disease.
- Things are easier deconstructed than constructed. It took mom 72 years to learn all she knows and 3 years to lose 99.9% of it. See the above video just how quickly my daughter’s puzzle was crumbled up after days of work on it.
- The origins of the word “puzzle” and the idea of how memory works are both hard to follow. Some say an actual “puzzle” predated the word for it. Others don’t have a clue. The more you Google, the less certainty you will have in what you know about the word. A lot of what we know about memory comes from people like Patient HM who lost parts of their brain. The brain seems to rewire itself sometimes. Some with damage have bigger concerns than others. We still are iffy on how memory truly works, scientifically, although my caricature represents our take decently.
I could finish off my typical top 10, but you get the point. Dementia is downright puzzling. 🙁 That is why we fight to end it! Off we go…
Update: All continues to be well on the mom front. She lives in a world of mixed up puzzles and is quite happy there. 🙁 I look forward to seeing her tonight.