You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the miraculous signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear.—Deuteronomy 7:19
Happy Monday to all! I am still here physically, but mentally I am dragged/drugged/draggen/druggen all over the place. (Note: English is hard, especially when you have 7 irons in 5 fires and no gloves…). I was just considering as I came in to work this fine first day of the work week that it is super hard to work in Information Technologies with a divided mind. Throw into the work soup the disaster preparedness work I do, the Alzheimer’s work I am part of, the security functions of the job, and the tasks in the unclassified category and it is a wonder my brain doesn’t pop like a catsup packet we used to love to stick under car tires in our school parking lot growing up. I only get in about 50 hours a week, plus 10 hours of commute, plus Runnin’ Til I’m Purple time…my days and my brain are very busy, to my mental detriment.
Then, after bathing in a happy hour cocktail of self-pity, I think of my mom, whose very existence requires much more brainpower than my day does. An end-stage dementia patient like mom only processes a train tunnel worth of experience… and doesn’t do that well. She is so distracted by the hoard of broken memories and misplaces processes that her ability to do much of anything out loud is, well, gone. Is my life hard? Yup. Is her life harder? I am not sure. Her circumstances certainly are. From our side looking in, I would say infinitely so, but she seems to be powerfully blocking everything that hyper-busies her world…and she smiles. I love her fire. She MUST be powerful to block out so much and still smile… Do I wish she could just be in heaven now? Yup…then I feel guilty because of her smile. This, friends, is a terribly hard disease.
Update: Nothing new over the weekend. I get to visit tomorrow morning. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They matter more than you know! 🙂
Last note: I have 3 clinical trial appointments this week. 🙂 Two directly relate and one is a side trial that will help me get into a future trail. I will fill you in as they happen. 🙂
OK…REALLY LAST NOTE: Our virtual and our in-person support groups happen tomorrow. If you would like more info, call or text me at 417-955-2513 🙂