Posted 7/28/21
Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant. 2 Samuel 7:28
Isn’t it funny how revolutionary pants can be in a young person’s life? When I was an awkward early teen, I was trying to navigate my way through the early puberty section of life and start the transformation to adulthood (Note here to my wife: “Be kind…I AM an adult!”) I can remember my first pant-stravanganza. (Yes, reader…that is current depth to which this blog has descended.) Anywhooo…when I was somewhere around 12-13 I think, it was just after my parent’s divorce and the bachelor house (My dad, my brother and I) were trying to navigate a world without mom. We went to Busy Bee, a since defunct western (and other) wear shop in Springfield to get some REAL jeans. We fumbled around as fumbling men did until we found something akin to my size and it said on a sign: “Shrink-to-Fit, Button-fly 501 Blues: Be aware these may shrink several inches”. We, as not super experienced at shopping men, were flummoxed. We asked the salesperson, a 16-year-old girl who undoubtedly thought she deserved to make $15 an hour instead of the $3.35 minimum she was enjoying for her genius, how to size these pants. She said “Just add some inches to what you wear and buy those.” This was terrible advice as the printed size took in account for the amount that would shrink. I ended up with a pair that was at least 8 inches too big, even after shrinking…and you couldn’t return these $30 pants once you washed them….so I was stuck with them…and a life lesson.
(Lightbulb just appeared above my head)
I just wonder…can we learn about dementia from pants?
(Writer extracts shoehorn from drawer like the would-be king extracts the sword from the rock)
(Angelic chorus sounds present)
Things We Can Learn About Dementia From Levi’s 501 Blues
- Before reading, here is a good link discussing the merits and history of buttons versus zippers: LINK
- Size may vary– These pants would have been my size had we subtracted several inches from what the tag said…but obviously they would put the correct size on the tag…otherwise everyone would appear much heavier on the outwardly present tag than they really were. We wore our size as a badge and poured ourselves into these jeans so we could appear to only be a, say, 32×336 instead of the 42×38 we bought. In our defense, we were just figuring things out as bachelors. My dad did a great job raising us and lessons like this taught as all a lot. 🙂 In dementia, size is also variable…to the extreme. Mom was quite small when she arrived at the memory unit that faithful day a few years ago. They fed her quite well…and brought by sweets constantly. She, unfortunately, fell many times in those early days and was doomed to her wheelchair permanently a couple of years ago…and then the weight increased exponentially. She was previously too small after pacing, walking, carrying bags of her valuables and the like…probably too thin. Minus the exercise and unable to move much without falling, she quickly gained a tremendous amount. She has now settled into a bigger than she used to be but just above average normal. Expect weight changes as a real possibility. Guard against co-morbidities like diabetes by limiting access to sweets. Unfortunately this is hard for a few reasons: It is sad…the loved one has very little some days…it is nice for them to get a bonus Ho Ho. I mean…they are terminal. However, making things worse for a short-term benefit should be limited. It is also hard because sweets are everywhere. Visitors, few and far between, often bring in goodies too.
- Buttons are sometimes added value– Levi’s 501 Blues that everyone had to have were button fly. Why it is a good thing to button up britches instead of using the ole zipper I am not sure…but it was the rage! (Note: I added the first link above because I was unaware of the history. Now we are both informed. You are welcome…no charge for that. 😉 ) How are buttons an added value in dementia? Fiddle blankets and cuffs, for one. I have written about these repeatedly. They are typically a piece of fabric with all sorts of buttons and other things sewn on them to fiddle with. This legitimately and dramatically helps distract and sooth the stressed mind of our loved ones. Get them or make your own. Be aware to sew the items on quite well…they will get a workout.
- Good help is hard to find– The young lady was nice. I figure she is mid-50s now with grandkids by now. I am sure she was just apathetic and probably would rather been on her phone (had phones been a thing for anyone in 1985 other than that bag phone kid at school…), but she proved my point here…good help is hard to find. Know who else is desperate for good help? NURSING HOMES! Want to make good money once you work your way up to RN and/or administrative work and have a job for life? Want a rewarding job? Is it hard? I expect very much so. However, what in life worthwhile is easy? Also note: there are all sorts of volunteering opportunities in at-home dementia care. Have a loved one caring for someone with dementia? Offer specific help. Today. You have my permission to leave this blog and get started. 😉
- Focus on what’s there, not what is wrong– We had spent a hundred or more hard-earned bucks on these too-big pants. We couldn’t return them. EBay? LOL. We could have put them in the Penny Power newspaper hoping someone would buy them, but the chances were slim. So I took one for the team. I wore gym shorts under them and used them the whole school year. I ended up being able to wear them without the extra layer later in life. All’s well that ends well. While “All’s well that ends well”, as of today, is a pipe dream in dementia (other than in the most important factor of all: the eternal/Christian sense), we have to focus for now on the good. We have to make the moist of every minute we have with our loved ones and cherish the good days. There will be time to mourn later. I know it is easier said than done…I do. Try hard.
- Those rivets will hold even when the rest do not– Levis, in general, and the 501 Blues in specific, used to always have the rivets at the stress points that likely used to hold together pants much better than other pants. Here is their story. They stopped having the rivets do the work in the 1960s, but some still have a hat tip rivets of yesteryear. However, the kids these days buy them with holes, so what do I know anyway about what makes jeans last longer??? As a quick bonus, remember your R.I.V.E.T when times get hard:
- Relationships– Lean first on your relationship with God, then on your friends and family. He will never let you down. Prayer may be foxhole grade some days…
- Inspired Word of God– The Bible was, according to 2 Timothy 3 and other places, θεόπνευστος (theopneustos). This means “God+Breathed”. Lean on the Bible for wisdom, for comfort, and for peace in the storm….and there will be storms. Read it daily. Study it. Listen to it on CD. Soak it up…you will need it.
- Venue– Your surroundings matter tremendously in caring for your loved one. First be sure things are safe from fall risks. Next be sure to have pictures of then and now where they can be seen. Keep some of your and your loved one’s favorite music playing…few things relieve tension like familiar music. Have some good smelling diffusers or auto-sprays operating to keep things smelling nicer. There is so much to stress about, your environment should help instead of adding to the stress…take the time and get the help to be sure it helps.
- Eternity– Think on eternity. Think about your loved one being whole again some sweet day. When times are hard, remember that this hard hardship is only hard for a drop in the swimming pool of eternity.
- Time-Take time to take care of yourself. The old adage on the plane is the parent gets the oxygen first, then gives it to the kids because they can’t do it for themselves. Take care of yourself by taking time. Ask for help and don’t feel guilty when you are being helped…just recharge and come back even better. 🙂 And, minus a cure, take time to mourn and celebrate doing your best when all is done. And speaking of time…keep fighting for a cure some some sweet day we can all celebrate and move this terrible time behind us.
#EndALZ
Update: Mom was somewhat better yesterday in my 14 minutes of visit. She opened an eye a few times. While she was drawn up, she didn’t appear to be in any pain. The morphine she was getting reduced the drawing up part to nothing, but I am not sure how long you can/should be able to stay on it. I wish I could help her more than I do…these 15 minutes here and there just don’t cut it. 🙁
Alzheimer’s Initiatives:
My Runnin’ Til I’m Purple Fundraiser is officially in the books. We raised a little over $6100 to split evenly between the Alzheimer’s Association and SeniorAge! The next fundraiser is the biggest of the year: The Walk to End Alzheimer’s, which happens in September. Locally, here is the event page and your opportunity to donate and/or join my walk team that I dubbed 3 years ago Never Gonna Give You Up. (LINK) Our walk will happen September 25th at Jordan Valley Park (where it always was before Covid). Registration will begin 30 minutes earlier and we will have several provisions in place to protect us all from the pandemic. If you are local, join my team! Donate if you can. If you are not local, you have an event in September in a large city near you. Visit alz.org or shoot me an email at mark.applegate@senioragemo.org and I will find one for you. The Walks to End Alzheimer’s are a wonderful event that raises awareness and badly needed funds. Please go to one this year if possible. 🙂
Next year’s Runnin’ Til I’m Purple II will be June 20, 2022. Details are still being worked out, but the preparation is already started. I am trying hard to keep the weight off and keep running. We have lots to do…and next year’s event will be amazing!
Clinical trials- I have one trial at KU Monday regarding Cholesterol. Details coming as it unfolds. The next one is longitudinal…it runs until I die…and begins August 20th at Washington University (St. Louis). I will attend every 3 years until I turn 65 or become symptomatic, then every year after that. Here is a link to it: LINK
Keep fighting, friends. While the hill is big, we will get there.
All of this odd little piece came to mind because yesterday was the 501st day since we had free and easy access to visiting my mom. 🙁 Shawshank prison…..