Posted 10/2/20
“But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep.” –John 10:2
It has been a challenging week, as they all are these days. Today I just want to provide you with a melancholy little poem that expresses my current mood regarding my mom, a life of regrets, and the many emotions of dementia. I hope you take its advice. 🙂 I don’t claim to be a poet (and I know it), but sometimes poetry allows me to come to terms with emotions that unstructured words don’t easily express, if only to myself. Try some poetry and share yours in the comments. 🙂
God Bless every one of you.
-Mark
A Life of Goodbyes
–
When I was only three
and mom would have to leave,
my tears would always fall
ALWAYS, through it all
I could say, mid-cry, Goodbye.
School began, me at five.
Scary bus seemed alive.
Brave…only misty eyed.
Oh so, so I tried.
Waved through the window…Goodbye.
Pre-teen: injuries came.
Big or small, mom’s the same.
Patched me up with a kiss.
“You’ll make it through this.”
Mom’s love bid the pain Goodbye.
High school, I got busy.
My schedule: a tizzy.
Baseball, friends, fun and more.
I flew out the door.
Didn’t even say Goodbye.
Married, job, family, more.
Don’t have time anymore.
She called me, I delay.
Dropped by, couldn’t stay!
Same breath…Hello! & Goodbye!
Then her dementia came.
Time’s no longer the same!
Quarantined. Alone. Scared.
Caught me UNPREPARED!
Never got to say Goodbye!
“She’s here”, you rightly say
“Tell her now, don’t delay.”
“I do. I will. Again…”
To my sad chagrin
Can she “hear” my best Goodbye?
Dementia’s fast, yet slow.
10 years…where did it go?
Be sure to say today
Things you need to say
Don’t miss your chance for Goodbye.
#EndALZ
Mark Applegate 10/2020
Update: I had a video call with mom Wednesday. Inwardly she beamed with quiet semi-joy. She loved seeing her great grandson Sawyer and the rest of us. Outwardly she looked sad and tired. I hurt for her loneliness and pray she doesn’t think we have abandoned her.
Dad joke of the day:
What did the poet say to Luke Skywalker?
Metaphors be with you.
Wonderful words spoken by a loving son.
Thank you very much 🙂
Very meaningful poem! We can all relate!
Thank you very much 🙂
I love this poem on so many different levels.
As always thank you for sharing.
EndAlz
Thank you 🙂 It is hard and expressing myself in different ways helps 🙂