Posted 4+16=20
We all have our little hangups. You know them when you see them. They are those quaint things that make us different than the 7.58 billion like us (or not). Some call them quirks or idiosyncrasies, but I just prefer to think of them more as what makes us special to each other and to the Lord.
One such thing with me is an almost sociopathic view of numbers. I am not a mathematician, mind you. I mean, one of the few Ds I ever earned was my freshman year of college in Pre-Calc. (5 Days a week, 8am!!! Ugggh.) In my defense, it was my first semester of my freshman year of college. I had a retiring teacher that told us the following on Day 1:
- You are adults (I was barely 18)
- You don’t need babysitters (I needed a babysitter)
- I will not be collecting homework (Helpful, because, therefore, I will not be DOING homework)
- I will not be taking attendance (I am there in spirit)
- Your grade will be the average score of 4 tests.
How did that play out for me?:
The first test I was not yet jaded. It was largely Algebra II review and I showed up daily, did my homework and got an A-. 90%
The second test found me super confident. I showed up 3-4 days a week and did some of the homework. My test 2 score: C- 70%.
Sitting at a 80% average through 2 tests, knowing there was more in the tank…I was quite content. Content enough to stop going except on occasional Thursdays or when friends would be there. My textbook drew dust, sitting next to my duck-themed utensil holder in my kitchen. Little did I realize how clueless I truly was. Test 3: 10%. No…I didn’t miss 10%…I got 10% right. Guessing would have been more fruitful.
Sitting at 56.666% going into a COMPREHENSIVE final that I was absolutely clueless about made me question just how much college student material I was.
In order to get a D and pass, I had to get a 70% on this comprehensive mess. I crammed and crammed and crammed. I went back and did missing homework, as best I could figure it out having not been in class much. (Note: I was really good on the every other problem…you understand if you have taken math classes…the answers are in the back of these…).
Final day arrived and he must have shown me grace because I survived with a D.
2 notes:
- I took the class again my senior year and got an A. Yes…I showed up every day.
- My other D was in Bowling 101. The class was made up of 2 things: improving your average score throughout the semester (30%) and manually keeping score without a calculator on 3 games (70%). The performance I got the 30% but I missed 2 out of three on the scoring-based final exam. One of the 3 games had 5 strikes, a scratch and a couple other weird things and the other one I missed I had a math error. Therefore I got an F on the final and a D for the class. Maybe I am not that good at math, but I enjoy it nevertheless…
So, what is my point here other than to discuss myself? First, today’s date is a math problem. 4+16=20. When you think of two numbers equaling 20, most think of 15 and 5 or maybe even 10 and 10 again. Sometimes, though, in elementary math, the little number comes first. I am not bragging when I say I see numbers differently than most people. I think God planted that little oddity in my brain to build my “outside the box” thinking muscle. I tend to think of the outliers more clearly than the more obvious in most cases in life. I am the Other on the fountain cup lid, and it serves me well.
But, you know, this part of the brain is a muscle that we can all work out. For a second here, I am not talking about myself or numbers…but, instead, noticing and embracing differences in people, and those with dementia most notably. I love, love, love, love how Teepa Snow emphasizes focusing on what is left rather than what is lost on our loved ones. See, for now we are powerless to stop the disease, or even slow it. However, by retooling our expectations of our loved one, we can see them not as someone with less to offer but as someone with plenty to offer. I am not trying to offer you mere platitudes here. There is a lot they can offer if we can just see the 4+16=20 instead of only the 16+4=20. Maybe we have to be the 16 in the equation now…remember, they still have a lot to offer and between us we still have a “20” relationship. 🙂 That is how marriage and other relationships are too. Sometimes we are the 16 and sometimes we are the 4… Heck, sometimes we have to be the 19…
Thank you all for indulging me in my little number talk here! Keep up the hard work and keep fighting to #EndALZ !
-Mark
Update: I had a nice little Facetime with mom this morning. She seemed the same as she has been for several weeks. Her hands are swelling and she may have to have her wedding ring cut off soon, but other than that we are in a holding pattern. Hoping the pandemic goes away toot sweet so they can reopen to visitors again. 🙂
