Posted 3/10/21
So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt. –Exodus 3:10
Hi all! Happy “Who, What, Where, Why, When-sday”! This is the day when I try hard to be even more practical than I normally try to be and point you to something you can do to help. There are hundreds of ways each of us COULD help, but not everyone CAN do everything. Instead, the best strategy is to make a list of things that NEED to be done and assign helpers to specific things. Lots of us have friends or family that would like to help but don’t know how. We need them and should allow them the privilege to share the burden.
Today’s thought may seem a little less important to you until it is too late, so please consider it thoughtfully: appoint a family historian (or acknowledge the one likely already there and utilize his/her skills early and often).
I expect many of you do not know (or care about) my educational path to where I am today. I received my Bachelor of Arts Degree in American History and my minor in Religious Studies from Missouri State University. (It was called Southwest Missouri State back in those days long ago…) My intent? I was going get a BS degree and be a teacher. My problem: stage fright (and I was making much more than teachers were at the time and I was only working part-time. VERY SAD!). I hated speaking in public and sabotaged many attempts through negative self-talk. My self-image isn’t great and never has been despite having a very supportive set of parents. So I went on to work retail/management for 15 years, opened several businesses of my own, and hopped back into the educational world and got an MBA with emphasis in technology management. But I have always LOVED history.
But a family historian? Is that a thing? Yes it is…
Who? The family historian needs three things…the three T’s, if you will: time, tech savvy, and tenacity. Friends, it isn’t necessarily the one who knows the history that is the historian…it likely isn’t. It needs to be someone who will set up shop and do actual formal or informal interviews, ask the questions, follow the train of thought, and probe deeper in a loving way of course.
What? He/she needs some form of video recording device. A cell phone recording to its SD card so it doesn’t run out of space is fine or a camcorder or similar is fine as well. Even a laptop with webcam (perhaps using Zoom or another conferencing app) would be a great option because hard drive space is cheap. You also need to decide the format on which you will keep this wonderful history once it is compiled. The world is moving more and more computer-dependent…I get it…I live it and do it for a living…BUT, whatever format you choose, be sure it could be printed and/or saved in a way that you can keep a copy in a safe deposit box and that you can share with other family. It could be a book, a video, a YouTube video series, or whatever format you choose. If you could make it a living document/one that can be edited or at least added to by your posterity, it will stay fresh and will grow…but be consistent and keep it centralized so edits will stay together and there won’t end up being many versions.
Where? The where is the rub. Doing a great job with family histories requires leg work. If you have family reunions, go to them…as many as you can find. You should visit home towns, homesteads, cemeteries, high schools, and churches. Use your imagination and ask questions everywhere.
Why? The WHY is how dementia fits into this puzzle. You see, while dementia is MUCH MORE than “just” memory loss, memory loss happens in spades for these wonderful folks. In fact, as I mentioned yesterday, with the numbers growing as they are as expressed by the Facts and Figures Report, we need to be interviewing loved ones early and often before the statistically-inevitable happens (without a cure). If we don’t document the stories, the family lore, the warts and all sometimes…it dies with the neurons. To me that is tragic. I am living this every day and have for years now. I can’t ask mom for her recipe for pancake syrup (which I desperately miss). I can’t ask mom where she had played the piano for an audience. It is too late. The memories are gone, but she remains…and it is tragic.
When? The clock is ticking. Not only dementia, but stroke and other neurological conditions shred histories in millions of cases every year. The Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomers are dying rapidly. There is no better time than now to appoint someone…or be that person yourself…and get this ball rolling.
One last tip is something SeniorAge has available in this realm. It is called the It’s All About Me Workbook. It is geared for more of a history of one person or a couple, but it is certainly along the same line as what we have been talking about. It also covers essentials about a host of topics from last directives to account numbers to important locations of things. As sad as this sounds, if your loved one is showing signs of dementia, you need to gather this as quickly as once it is gone, it is gone. Call SeniorAge at 417-862-0762 and ask for Juli Jordan and she can fill you in and even ship you one if you would like. The details are at the link above.
Do you have tips? Please share them in the comments. 🙂
Nobody can do everything, but maybe a historian is the thing you can do until we finally #EndALZ .
Update: My brother and stepdad had a good visit with mom Tuesday and I get to see her Saturday. There is still a plexiglass screen, but we are getting closer. They are allowing limited check-out privileges now and the hope is that the Shawshank period is nearly over. 🙂 Considering it is 1 year tomorrow, it is about time. 🙂
