Posted 3/12/21
100 days until June 20th (Longest Day)
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. –Colossians 3:12 (Bible readers’ note: If a verse begins with “Therefore”, go back the read the whole chapter to find out what the therefore is there for.)
Whew…it is Friday. 🙂 Nuff said, eh? It has been a good week, but it has been an emotional, rollercoastery one that has seen great joy, intense loss, angst, and smiles. Such is life these days…we just roll with the punches.
This piece may come across more melancholy than normal. I apologize in advance, but it is what it is and blogging is partially for me as a catharsis and I am going to cathart today… I am tired. I am tired from running. I have been running an average of 50 miles a week lately and need to ramp up to 75-100 in the next 2 months. I love to run, mind you, as a stress relief and a mind-reset, but I am tired. It could be remnants of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine I had Saturday combined with the nearly 17 miles I did Sunday. It could be my lower sleep totals. It could be the mental challenge of thinking of my mom wasting away and being defenseless to help. There are a host of issues it could be…more than I can list here. So what I want to do here is list some things I/you can do (or check or try) so as to recharge the ole batteries so I/you can hit the trail with new fervor… The path is long in this dementia journey…much, much, much, much longer than the mere 35 miles I will attempt to run in June.
Ten Recharging Tips for the Long Dementia Trail to Come
- Eat right. I have struggled with my weight since the 5th grade. I have gained and lost a refrigerator’s worth of weight in the last 30 years. I am currently down 110 pounds, but this isn’t the first time I have lost that much. I tend to eat when stressed even though I know the better things I should do. Our caregiving journey requires fuel…good fuel. Eat a brain-healthy diet. Need to lose some weight and learn to eat right? Join Weight Watchers. Here is my referral link…join and we each get a free month. You can easily eat the foods from the MIND diet, the DASH diet, or the Mediterranean diet and track how you do using WW. WW is flexible and just remember the phrase “What is good for the heart is good for the brain”. Another aspect of food is a reminder to eat regularly as a caregiver. Don’t wait until 4pm to have your first meal, then eat 3,000 calories. Balance your food throughout the day. Your body (especially your blood sugar) will thank you. Eat junk food? In moderation, sure. However, know that junk food’s friendship only lasts for minutes, not hours. The initial high is followed by a need for more or a crash. Balance…
- Find some quiet. Your brain…my brain…NEEDS quiet sometimes. I don’t necessarily mean in decibels although that helps. Walk on a trail. Sit on the porch and watch the birds chase worms. Leave your phone behind. Find respite help for least some time every week, whether it be provided by friends/family or professionals like the Alzheimer’s Association or your local Area Agency on Aging, and use it for you. You have earned it.
- Seek God. “Find a time and place to pray…read your Bible every day” is inscribed on the inside cover in my great-grandpa’s Bible. Get alone. Pray. Meditate. Breathe. Know that you are loved by your Creator even when it doesn’t always feel like it perfectly.
- Laugh. Is laughter the best medicine? I guess it depends on what is ailing you, but laughing certainly helps me. I need it. Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us that there are times when every emotion…every response…are appropriate. On a related note, Hilarity for Charity is a non-profit raising money and awareness for dementia. They are founded and made up by many comedians and seem to be doing some amazing things. They are not a Christian group, but they are nifty…Give them a look. 🙂 They do a lot to help caregivers too…
- Watch your self-talk. Don’t get away for 30 minutes and then spend 29 minutes feeling guilty. Let your time away be a recharging of the batteries so that you can be a better caregiver. It is true. Less is more. If you are energized, you will be more patient/loving, you will be less stressed, you will make better choices, and you will just do a better job overall. Don’t spend free time feeling guilty, rehashing failures, lamenting what is gone from your loved one, and second-guessing. Forgive yourself, your loved one, and remind yourself of the good things you are doing.
- Exercise– As counterintuitive as it may appear, some good exercise does recharge your batteries. Don’t overdo it, but a solid 30-45 minutes 3-4 times a week is a great start. Walk, jog, mow the yard, ride a bike. Lots of options…find one. It is an investment in your durability and it will help you.
- Join a support group. (Plug alert) I host a Alzheimer’s Caregivers Support Group every 3rd Tuesday of a month…and next Tuesday is our night. If you would like to join mine, email me at mark.applegate@senioragemo.org. It is virtual and I will send you the Zoom invitation. I am also happy to help you figure out the program. Remember, I am tech director for over a dozen counties of seniors…I have a pretty good idea how to show people how to use technology. 🙂 The beauty of a support group is the sentences that begin with these words: “Has anyone’s loved one ever……..”. Just knowing that you are not alone and sharing ideas REALLY helps. Looking for one close to you? Here is the Alzheimer’s Association’s resource finder link: Link
- Reduce your stress or it’s gonna kill ya– Isn’t it funny how much of self-care is counterintuitive at best and impossible at the worst. Reducing stress has been the subject out countless books, and is addressed in the Bible as well. Read the Psalms… King David asks for and is helped through some of the most stressful events in recorded history, some of which were completely self-inflicted…and God was there all along the way. Trust in the Lord. Sing a good song (like your own psalm). Identify triggers that make you stressed and fix what you can, own what you can’t, and work on this whole stress thing. It is time well spent. Several of the previous tips address stress as well.
- Find/rekindle a hobby. We are made in God’s image and, to a MUCH lesser extent, we mirror His attributes. Creativity is just one of them. Everyone is creative in some sense. Find your creative nook and work on it. You may just be surprised how much that it revitalizes you.
- Spend real time with others. We were created for fellowship with like-minded people. Get out of your comfort zone and spend time…actual physical time, not online time, with a friend or loved one. You need a sense of normal and this will help. Watch how much you vent, though. Venting here and there is OK, but remember that friendship is a two-way street. Listen twice and talk once. 🙂 There is a time for venting. I get it…but do it in balance. Sometimes a support group or an online (Facebook) caregiver group may be a better place for long rants.
Am I good at this list? Nope. We are learning together here…but the key is understanding the need to recharge and that you are worth the effort required. We will fight this thing together, friends…until some sweet day we all get to live in a world with no dementia. 🙂
#EndALZ
Update: The rules in nursing homes are letting up a little and I hope it gets easier and easier. We can now check mom out for a trip in certain circumstances. We are hoping for unfettered visits soon so I can drop the Shawshank Re:Dementia tag off the posts… I get to see mom tomorrow through plexiglass. Better than nothing, I suppose. But we sure miss a mom hug.
Have a great weekend all! 🙂 If you get your stimulus check and don’t mind to, kick a little coin to my Longest Day Fundraiser. We are setting at just under $800 right now on a big, fat goal of $5,280. Here is the link:
https://charity.gofundme.com/o/en/campaign/running-til-im-purple
We also have a T-Shirt preorder available and it is super cute if I do say so myself. If you are in SW Missouri, I can arrange delivery. If not, you can have it shipped to you once printing starts closer to run day. 🙂 Here is the link:
T-Shirt Link
Other ideas are coming soon. I hate this disease even more than I hate asking people for money, but if a cure requires money, we will all dig out coins from our couch cushions.
Thank you all for support, for energizing me to keep going, for friendship, for donations, for comments, for friendship (oh, I said that already) and for battling with me to #EndALZ. Have a great weekend!