Posted 3-16-20
“I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don’t want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I’d like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can’t be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free”
Shawshank Redemption Great Quotes
Pardon the swear word…
As mom enters her first full week of solitary confinement brought on by our modern arch-enemy, the COVID-19 virus, I have been reminiscing about mom’s early days in the memory unit. There was one day in particular that I remember getting there after work and finding mom in the wrong room undressing, or dressing…who knows? Her anxiety was a solid 9.9 out of 5 on the scale. I had a hard time getting her to make eye contact with me and it was equally hard bringing her back to the yard (the piano room) with me. I begged, pleaded and bargained for an easy resolution. Then she followed me to the piano room.
Then it happened.
Once mom sat at the piano, I tell you this…she played “something so beautiful, it can’t be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it.” A crowd of Sweet 17 damsels in distress gathered around, some with walkers and others in chairs, and a couple by foot…and they sang. They sang like never before. Some sang the words, some gibberish, but all sang from their heart, with all they had. They smiled, and praised the Lord…and dementia was suddenly in the rearview mirror for a few sweet minutes!
“I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last (wo)man in Shawshank the unit felt free”.
Then it was over. They all went their separate ways, some to wander up and down the halls, others to stare out the louvered window at the nothings, and a few to bed to dream of songbirds of years gone by. This act was repeated many times, but I seldom videoed if there was a chance of getting one of the others in the film…to protect their privacy.
Most videos I have you could hear the others better than this one, but this one is much more special to me.
This disease is savage. It is a life sentence to death row of solitary confinement for many, many men and women. Some 5+ million in the US alone. While I care deeply about the CaronaVirus…I really do!…the toll from dementia is prolonged, maddening, and tragic. Oh, for some time hearing mom in her happy place, playing the piano and singing again. Somehow we have to bust mom out of this place and #EndALZ once and for all!
Update: So far all is OK. I am going to find a way, even if only at the window, to see mom soon. She can’t think we have deserted her.
Diet Update: Good week. The WW office is in flux because of the virus, but I will weigh in anyway tonight.
#EndALZ
This is a beautiful story of your precious beautiful momma.
I know this Shawshank is Dementia Redemption very well. My mom lived 12 years with this horrendous fatal disease and just passed this past December 19th. I’m afraid it will always feel as fresh as yesterday to me. I was so blessed to be holding not only my dad when he died in 2002 but my precious mom as their entered God’s gates for eternity. My mom couldn’t temper my name unless I told her. But the day she died I said mom I’m here it’s your daughter and I’m her misery and pain and in her moms voice said, “I know it’s you honey”. My tears flow every time I tell this to anyone.
I’ve seen other Alz residents many times they are totally in the Alz world of confusion sit down at the piano and for those moments transform back with the piano. It amazed me each and every time and I praised God each time for the love that came through them. Unfortunately each and every time I witnessed this not one family member was there. But I was and I loved on them just as much as their own child should have been doing. Many even thought I was their daughter and some thought my husband was their son, well and doctor. We have been retired the entire time my mom has been diagnosed. I retired to take care of her and it was my honor. Not saying all the years were easy but I’ve learned so much. Once this virus is over I’m going to volunteer with the hospice that helped me with her to visit and talk to Alz residents and hopefully help their families to understand and learn techniques that lessen the extreme changes their loved ones are going through. Before I retired I was an elementary special education teacher for 30 years. When I retired I took my knowledge and all my materials and worked with all the people each place my mom was in. I felt God wasn’t finished with me teaching and funny thing my elementary materials fit in with these people so well. I’ve been blessed so much.
I prayed so many times for God to please have mercy on my very tired mother and when the time came I was so happy for my mom as she slipped away to be in the presence of God and with daddy my brother and more. But then an hour later and since I wish so much I could have one more day, one more hour, 5 more minutes. But I’m thankful that my mom doesn’t have to live through one more minute of this devastation.
On a lighter note. Have you seen the Alexa with the screen? You can sit them up in their rooms and actually call her and you can see her as well as her see you that is if she can understand to look. My mom couldn’t have in her last years. She would have to have a phone in the same room so it’s costly in that respect. But I would have done it especially for times like now. She would hear my voice. I could tell her a story and tell her I loved her.
Thank you for your story and video. I sure need this tonight.
Bless you and your momma. I hope I get to see another one when you post. Any chance I could follow you on fb?
Cheryl Barnes Hiles. (My fb name)
Thank you very much! I am very sorry for your loss. It is truly the hardest situation I have ever endured, watching my mom go from tip top shape to final stage where she is now. I am not sure if she would process an Alexa device now, but I firmly believe that would help many of the Sweet 17. Thank you very much for the post and the encouragement. 🙂
Send me a friend request. 🙂 Your link is private and doesn’t let me send it. 🙂 I love meeting people in our little community with the same experiences. 🙂