Posted 6/1/20
“How often have I said to you that, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?”
– Sherlock Holmes to Dr. Watson in the well-known legal text “The Sign of Four“.
https://uk.practicallaw.thomsonreuters.com/2-500-6576?__lrTS=20180226150603107&transitionType=Default&contextData=(sc.Default)&firstPage=true&bhcp=1
Hi all! I trust you had a nice vacation?! Oh wait, that was me. 🙂 I rarely take any time off, but, the longer I live and work the more I recognize that there is a point of diminishing return with me that makes me more valuable off of work (in smaller bursts) in the long run than working myself to death. Much like dieting, you would think that I would have learned that one by now, but…you know…..
Today I want to point you at another angle at my missing mom’s diagnosis and an encouragement for you to not do the same. Reminder why we should talk to a doctor if we show warning signs: If you diagnose early enough, there is a class of drugs that extends the comparably better early stage while “shortening” the mid/late stage. By shortening, I mean that the complete duration of dementia is typically pretty much the same, but you experience the “better” parts longer and the “less good” parts for a shorter time. (Note: File this sad paragraph in the “Reasons for needing a cure” folder. 🙁 )
Life keeps on going whether on vacation or at work and the dementia struggle with mom looms large all of the time. Last week was no different. Two sort of embarrassing and similar events that happened to me this week reminded me of my missed opportunities to convince mom to get checked out at the doctor. Prepare to either think a little less of me, feel a little bit sorry for me as a person, or wonder how I have made it as long as I have without getting lost in the woods. 🙂
Event one: From Tuesday night through Friday at 2pm we were without standard internet at the house and had to rely on our phone’s 4ish-GLTE service for internet. (Note: What you are going to read next is the absolutely perfect, quintessential definition of a “First World Problem“.) Egad! These poor souls couldn’t stream onto their TV and had to rely on a screen the size of a deck of playing cards to be entertained all day long while on vacation from their respective jobs during a pandemic that has 25% unemployment rates… Wow…it doesn’t sound any better all written out either. 🙂 Regardless, that was our lot. I sneaked/snuck/snooked around and used my phone as a hot spot on my laptop so I could get a little work done (shhhh…don’t tell on me), but even that stunk because my cell service isn’t ideal. Finally on Friday, after a long week of “roughing it” <non-COVID coughing sounds>, the internet guy showed up. He tested some stuff at the connection point outside the house, then came in and checked my modem/router combo. At first he said that my device is a little old and is probably to blame, until he followed the phone cord that feeds to all the way to behind my VHS tape rack to discover….wait for it…that our phone cord that runs to the DSL equipment was unplugged (by a cat or another Applegate, we shall never know…). I had lived like the stinking Little House family for 3 days for no good reason.
My response to this was a cross between a sincere laugh and a little bit of Tom Hanks:
Event two: Later Friday, while my bride was out of town helping my daughter pack to move, I decided to order Casey’s pizza, our favorite pizza in our little town although there is a new place that I NEED to try. I arrived, after ordering said pizza using our restored wifi, and the attendant said I was early. I decided to get gas while I waited, so I went to the pump closest to the door. After fiddling around trying to figure out the gas release button on our new-to-us 2000 Buick, I finally exited the car and went to the keypad to put in my debit card. I ran my card and it sat there for a while indignantly and then said “Swipe your card” again. A little miffed, I did it again. Same result. Again, persistently and sinning a little in my heart, I did it again and again. I finally gave up and went inside to prepay and check on my pizza, not a little grumpy at the inconvenience. The lady at the desk said “Oh yeah…you need to change pumps…that one doesn’t have a hose”.
I guess the good news, given my bouts with missing the obvious during my vacation, was that I didn’t rip the hose off myself.
That brings me back to mom. As I have lamented multiple times, including, but not limited to this piece and this piece, I should have noticed that mom was declining. I visited some, but mostly talked to mom on the phone. It is soooo hard to pick up on non-verbal cues when on the phone (or reading a blog…hence the :)’s and :(‘s I tend to add for emphasis)…but, nevertheless, I should have known. The cord was right there unplugged. The hose was missing right in front of my eyes.
My response before and after understanding fully what I missed was a little bit of anger (at myself) and a little bit of Tom Hanks.
“How often have I said to you that, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?”
Mom having a worsened dementia wasn’t impossible. It wasn’t even that improbable given that she was diagnosed with “a mild form of dementia” a decade before. Sherlock Stinking Holmes I am not… Heck, I miss phone cords and gas hoses some days more than I notice them. But, all I can do it march on and try to do better next time, knowing that, for mom at least, there is no next time.
#EndALZ
Update: Visited with mom a little Friday on Voice Chat. Seems about the same. I am trying to work out a regular window visit. Our governor extended the phase one of reopening in our state two more weeks and, with a noticeable increase in cases as of late, I expect it is going to be a while before I can see her in person. 🙁 In the St. Louis area, it is not uncommon for half or more of the nursing homes to have the virus flowing through the halls, and we recently have had an increase in our area as well. I am hoping it stays away from mom’s home. 🙁 Therefore…we wait.
WW Update: Lost another 2.8 this week for a total of 63.6 lost since rejoining in January. Once the fitness center gets reopened, I expect to even do even better! I would love to get close to my goal by my November (our 30th) anniversary, and I am certainly on track to get reasonably close…
Final note:
All this week, at 7:45 AM and 4:44 PM (CST), KSMU radio will be airing during their Sense of Community series, Dementia in the Ozarks, which will dive into this topic from a local perspective. I interviewed several times in this event as did many folks I know personally. Tune in live if you are in the Ozarks or online at :
Thank you all for coming today. It sure is nice to be back. 🙂