Posted 12/7/18
I showed up
with my boss to see mom while we were out today, and she walked briskly to meet
us in the hall then abruptly asked the two of us “Who am I?”. She
wasn’t kidding and, unless it was just a short-term thing caused by the change
of routine, she was genuinely very confused. She asked again and I told her.
Mary and a few of the others of the Sweet 17 do that, but not mom…until
today.
Mom was also extremely hyperactive this afternoon…not unlike a 12 year old
that downed a Red Bull and Andy’s Custard milkshake. She talked a million miles
an hour, often in 3B speak. (Brain Bandit Babble ).
It wasn’t all bad, I suppose. She said a few quite funny things. She was also
very sweet to my boss. What a journey in 14 months! What dementia did in 7 or 8
years, Alzheimer’s has blasted by in a tad over a year.
Processing my visit on the drive home, as I am wont to do, the words “Who
am I” reverbed in my brain. Who is she? The easy answer: She is mom 2.0.
Mourning two times in Alzheimer’s, again, is a very real thing. If she can’t
remember the old person, maybe it is a clue yet again that we need to focus on
the new too? “Get through” mourning 1.0 so we can prepare for 2.0? We
will never forget the old person, Lord willing, but that person is gone. I
loved that version. I love this person too very much not only for who she is
but because the new still looks a lot like the old. I subconsciously still half
expect her to just snap out of it…
Regardless, a couple hours later Pam swung by to say hi and she didn’t remember
much if anything about the visit nor about my boss. Up and down and up and
down…
No pictures today. It wasn’t really a picture kind of environment. Here is a picture of mom 1.0 playing with my son. She has always had a great sense of humor…and still does. Who am I she asks? You are still mom. <3
#EndALZ