Posted the last day of March, 2023
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
It has been quite a week. My Uncle is finally being put to rest after passing away very nearly 4 months ago. My mom loved her brothers, both of whom have passed away in the last year. Her older brother died a year ago this week. He had health issues early in life that caused him to be fairly extreme behavior-wise…wither nice or angry. My mom loved him dearly, but wasn’t able to be as close with him as her younger brother. Mom was the protector of this brother and could be a great big sister. She would be devastated that it took so long for him to be buried.
These sad ends reminds me of two things that my parents both taught me a lot over the years, in their own ways. Two simple phrases:
- It is what it is.
- Eat the meat and spit out the bones.
“It is what it is” annoys some people, for some reason. “It is too simplistic. It really doesn’t SAY anything.” they complain… However, it taught me to accept things as they are, at face value. Change what needs to be changed… that you can change, but accept things like they are as best you can. If you fixate on fixing everything or on the unfixibility of most things, you will miss out on the joy of what IS possible.
Eat the meat and spit out the bones- This applies to my mom and her siblings. They are/were all flawed, as am I. Her younger brother, who we bury today very unceremoniously, was a great guy much of my childhood. He seemed timid, very bright (especially in mechanic work) and unassuming. Later in life he was not that way and caused many people angst and sadness. However, we cannot throw away the good times. Just like with mom’s current situation…it doesn’t cancel out a life well lived. She is/was a great mom even with her flaws. She cared for others. She ought for others when need be. If you are struggling with the current state of things, please, friends, eat the meat and spit out the bones. Find the smile or the chuckle. See the glimmer of the old person, but enjoy the new one too. If you or I spend our time fixated on this ending, we will miss what was a great story.
I am thankful for my parents and my step-parents. They have taught me more than they will ever know 🙂
Update- She is about the same. I will try to get by today before or after the “funeral” and give her a hug if nothing else. No seizures recently…just eat, sleep, repeat…