Posted 6-3-19
What’s with the ugly painting? Stay tuned…
Have you ever wondered makes something valuable? I will spare you economics lesson wrought with talk of supply & demand, scarcity of resources, the time value of money, and the like. As the recipient of an MBA and a wonk for such, I can tell you that these concepts are not only “accurate”, they are the bedrock of the world’s economies. Without assigning “value”, work would mainly be only as useful as it is for the person working without regard to the need to have the work happen. Yo, Mike Rowe, jobs from your show Dirty Jobs would never get done if value wasn’t assigned!
So what is really…….really valuable? Not necessarily “never work a day again in your life” valuable. No. More valuable than that, because the work itself, regardless the compensation gained from the work, has value too, and even that number is a still too small moving target. I propose to you: time and memories are what are truly valuable.
Time is preciously valuable. As my dad and I have bantered back and forth many times, “When it is your time to go, it is your time to go!” Life is truly short whether you are a billionaire or a PocketChangeaire like me. When Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart, died in the early 1990’s, he had enough money to have at his disposal the best doctors money could buy, yet nobody could extend his life. What we wouldn’t give for even a tad more time with a loved one who has passed away, or, in the case of mom and the Sweet 17, has been rendered a whole different version of themselves sans memories. Empty my accounts and take my stuff…give it to me.
Memories are a second huge storehouse of wealth. In a character trait wiser far beyond their years, the Millennial generation, according to many studies, value memories over things. More and more of this unfortunately much-maligned generation are delaying a career and a family to take care of parents or grandparents. They are selfie-takers, not always to brag on social media, but often to help them remember the experience. I completely get that…and selfie the heck out of me and my fam even though I am not thrilled looking at myself later. Memories, to these young adults, are king. The longer I live, the more I agree.
So what of the ugly painting above? I found this old painting at a garage sale a few years ago. It was in the “free” pile next to the road that the yard merchant was hoping would make its way away from their sight during the sale. It would have likely just been scooted to the spot next to their dumpster had I not noticed it… with a profound sparkle in my eye. I even asked to be sure that it was free as I hauled it to the car, knowing it would draw the ire of my ready to downsize/declutter wife. The thing has missing paint, an unstapled frame, water spots, and has taken a beating. In short, it is a mess. Or is it?
Why was this picture valuable to me? Simple: It was the same picture that was in my living room growing up….only a tad beat up! Honestly, its condition was irrelevant to me. Before the days of the internet and more than 3 or 4 TV channels, I can remember staring at this picture and daydreaming. I can vividly remember asking such questions as:
- Is that Big Bird on the far left? (Looking closely, it seems to be a guy or gal in a yellow coat, but as a little kid it could have been Big Bird! If not him, it was surely Curious George’s handler, the man with the yellow hat.
- Who got the awesome upstairs room at the inn? We used to have a play area in our attic and I always thought a nook like that was fun. In scale, that was likely a full room, but to a 6-year-old it might as well have been my attic.
- Cool stagecoach!! Was it royalty? Probably not. But with 4 horses pulling the coach, they might be hauling gold?!?
- Why are they rowing around in the pond when it is obviously cold outside? Both chimneys running could mean two cooking areas, but it was more likely for heat. That pond was pretty small…or was it? Maybe just to the right of the picture is a wide expanse leading to a far away land?
- I also love the trees. They were noble trees, not the happy trees Bob Ross prefers. No, they were more mighty and a tad grumpy I was sure, for some reason.
- I had a tree swing spot located for the left tree, but it would take a skilled climber like my big brother to hang that one.
- Is that a road to the left of the left trees? It is overgrown…wonder where it used to go?
See, this painting, for me, signifies a magical time. My parents were still married. We played sports. We traveled on adventures, both near and…uhhh…still pretty near. We laughed. We cried. We got hurt occasionally. We spent time together. My grandparents lived next door, therefore a snack was just about 50 feet to the east. Everything I knew was as it had always been.
But you know, to the casual observer, even if this picture once had value to me, its changed condition renders it valueless.
Oh
How
I
Disagree!
My beat up painting reminds me of the urgent need to cling to memories even as we build new ones. It reminds me to dream, even as I sit next to my stupid smartphone with its ability to do anything for me that I want. It reminds me that water spots and stains be darned! Bad condition or lack of utility doesn’t ruin value in my little world. Mom is sort of a fading picture in my life right now, but she is still here and brings back 5,280 memories every time we sit together and dream. She can’t do much for me right now, but she does and has done a lot already. Her condition doesn’t render her worthless. She is still the same painting and is still of immeasurable worth. If we aren’t careful, we will focus on the blemishes and imperfections and miss the fact that the person is still right there. Her condition is still teaching me invaluable lessons daily.
So I leave you with this advice: Focus on what is important in your care giving and you family/personal life. Reevaluate carefully and thoughtfully what you ascribe value to. Will what you value be worth your effort? Your lifelong effort? Mom would take me and later my kids on long walks, she would gather spiky tree gumballs and make crafts with them, she would play on the floor with us, she would show us the cool things in the yard that we missed….all free to do and extremely valuable memories. Be careful to invest in the truly valuable while there is time, never losing sight of decades and, more importantly, eternity to come.
Mom is valuable. So are your loved ones. And so is my beat up, memory-filled painting regardless what others may think at first glance.
#EndALZ